When You're Pissed-Where Does the Yoga Go?

It's always interesting to me, as someone who considers himself a yogi, that my bad temper has not gone away. You'd think with all the deep breathing, the commitment to react less, the helping people learn to unlock their inner teacher, and re-discover their radiance, that everything would be great, and I'd never get mad. That's what I thought that when I started practicing yoga seriously.

There are a lot of misconceptions about what yoga does, and what you must do in order to practice it. One thing people seem to think is that when you start doing yoga, you miraculously become a magical person---not angry, calm every moment of the day, and completely non-reactive. Well, not necessarily true-and in my case, far from the truth.

I get ANGRY. I always have. It's something I've always struggled with. I used to scream and yell a lot. I called people horrible names, and made people cry. Once, when I was about 6 years old, I got mad at some kid who was picking on my brother, and grabbed him and knocked his head into a tree a few times. He didn't pick on my brother anymore, and I got into a lot of trouble. The thing was, that lashing out, it didn't make me feel good at all. It just made me more angry, and then it made me feel really bad later.

I haven't hit anyone in a really long time....decades, but the urge visits often. I did throw a small bottle of oregano at someone a few years ago...but at their midsection, not their face....so I don't feel too bad about it...and yeah, they probably deserved to have a little oregano bottle chunked their way, come to think of it.

The point is, I had the urge to throw a bottle today, or maybe smash one on the ground or call someone a nasty name. I didn't, obviously. I know that would be totally pointless. Instead, I'm spending some time thinking about what really caused my anger, and trying to transform the anger into positive action. That's one thing yoga can teach you.

Usually, when I get mad these days, I don't try to get even. I try to improve my situation...analyze what happened, why it pissed me off, and what I can do to make myself feel better about the situation, or how I can work to change it.

It's about bramacharya (a Sanskrit word often interpreted as meaning celibacy, but that can actually mean restraint of energy.) When you practice a retention, a hugging in...it offers you time to reflect. Instead of going to the person who pissed me off and hitting them, or calling them a "scumbag" or "motherfu**er," I'll talk to them when I'm ready. When I'm calmer, more in control of my emotions. I'll take a moment to save my own ass, their feelings, and to prevent loss of control.

So yeah, yoga might not save you from ever getting mad, but it might remind you to control your actions, to be bigger than the person who makes you angry, to hold your tongue, or to work for change.

Anger might be actually considered a positive force, or at least the inspiration for change. We'll talk about it more.